1. Have a clear sense of purpose of who you are and how you want to be in your life
Write a personal vision statement as the first step in bringing focus to your life. Whether you do this by writing it down or by representing your vision as a drawing/picture, it is important to commit it to paper and keep it nearby. Writing it down lends power and commitment to your vision of yourself.
Your vision may be a result of answering questions such as: What are the 5 key values I believe in? At the end of my life, what would I want people to say about me?
2. Respect yourself, your abilities and opinions and do the same for others
When you state your reasons for wanting or not wanting to do something, give the real reason and avoid supporting it with lots of others - they just weaken the real reason.
3. With relationships and problems seek first to understand and then to be understood
You would not be impressed by your local GP if, as soon as you walked into the room, he diagnosed your ailment, issued you with medicine and sent you on your way. Listen with respect and demonstrate you understand (you may not agree) someone else’s point of view. It is the easiest concession to make when you are influencing another
4. Work with people in a win:win way
People want to work with people that show interest in them and their welfare. Realise that you get more of what you want when you pay attention to what other people want. The law of reciprocity is powerful in all our undertakings with people.
5. Come with suggestions and solutions not just problems
Be pro active in dealings with people. We can all too readily see the downside and focus on the problems. Think of what can be done as well as what can’t.
6. Demonstrate to people that they have unconditional value in your eyes
Get to know them and show appreciation for who they are and what they do. This applies just as much to Chairmen, to colleagues and staff.
7. Keep your promises and commitments
Only agree to what you are prepared to do or to deliver – our personal integrity depends upon it. Learn to say ‘no’ in a respectful and firm way and negotiate a better result then agreeing to something you will not do so well, or at all. Trust is something we earn by doing what we say and staying true to our values.
For more details about Assertiveness Coaching run by Suzanne Potts
Contact: suzanne@suzannepotts.co.uk tel: 01903 778977 mob: 07734 993260
